Monday, March 29, 2010


For the past week or so, I've been having crazy, beautiful, vivid dreams that seem so real. At first, I thought it was just because my husband has been subjecting me to "Lost" every night.( I mean, who wouldn't dream about Sawyer?) But now the dreams have started containing more people I know and less movie stars. (Dang it.)

What do they mean? Why are there random people invading my precious moments of sleep? And why can I remember the ones I would like to forget and forget the ones I'd like to remember? I am sure there are plenty of answers out there. Something simple and not too exciting, but since I've been tossing and turning and not sleeping like I'm used to, I'm going to pretend it has to do with something else.

Like a glimpse into a life I could have led, if I had done just a few things differently. For instance, based on last nights dream: I would be going back to college to get my Master's (in what? - that's not clear) and would have time to hang out with people I barely spoke to while in college the first time. I would know about flowers and understand why a friend looked guilty when telling me the name of one since it was growing in her garden and not mine. And (get this) my ride would be a truck on over-sized tires, complete with the dual smoke stacks out the back. This means I wouldn't have children, since the cab seats three, instead of six...

In reality, I'm in love with my life. (Yeah, yeah, I know - completely ridiculous to hear.) I only wish I was closer to my family and that we owned this land we are living on. Seriously. Those are the only two big things that come up when wishing things were different. So it's interesting to think that my dreams about 'what could be' are actually reinforcing my happiness with 'what is.'

Silly truck, flower knowledge and time to hang out with people. Nope, I'd rather have my sensible six-seater, a sieve for a brain, and kiddos. But it's still fun to see who I'll become the next time I lay down for a few hours of stillness. And perhaps while I am dreaming about a different life, someone else is dreaming about my way of life. And thanking their lucky stars that their hot rod is still parked outside in their driveway.

Now, if I could only incorporate a little more Sawyer ...


  1. maybe the full moon has something to do with these dreams?? i don't know, i think i could see you in that truck! ;) ...with sawyer??

  2. ha! i could see sawyer in that truck - he's kind of a redneck bad-ass on the show. although we got a glimpse of his soft side the other night. :) it's like a freaking soap opera. so ridiculous!