What makes a person a good parent? A good friend, daughter, spouse? I've been thinking about that lately. It's hard for me to separate myself into my different roles many days. I may feel like the world's greatest mama, but may be totally sucking in the best friend category. Or vice-versa. How can we be everything to everyone at all times? We can't; I know that. But how to reconcile the vast space in between our good days and bad ones?
I've been hit by a case of the overwhelms. And it's not that my life is sooo hard or that I'm sooo busy or that I'm sooo important. I just can't get on top of being a good mama, spouse, friend, housekeeper to the level that makes me feel good about being each of these things. I keep telling myself, "IF ..." You know, "if I could get this done" or "if I had the patience" or "if I did" then everything would magically change and POOF! I could be the best (fill in the blank) for each person in my life.
I keep amassing books about how to be a good parent, better housekeeper, more patient partner. Perhaps what I really need to do instead of read all of these is do what makes me feel good about myself in the myriad of roles I am cast in. Is there a way to get over this feeling of 'not good enough'? Can I embrace my shortcomings and still be a good person?
Aha! That's it. Being a good person encompasses all of the roles each of us performs daily. It's not so much 'how to be a good wife' but how to be a good person whose traits can be found in a wife. Right? Does this make sense? If I'm polite and giving and kind, then it would make sense that each relationship that I have would then bear these qualities as well. (Although, as a 'homemaker' furniture/dust/dishes don't require *quite* the same qualities...)
Being a good person sure sounds easy. Perhaps the hardest part for me won't be 'being good' but instead accepting my shortcomings. So if that means I only mop twice a year, at least it got done! And if that means I play tea party with my girls so often they learn to speak with a British accent, but in the mean time, I forget to teach them to skip, so be it. And even if that means I eat cookies when I should be exercising, at least I can be comfortable in my own body.
To finish my ramblings, I guess what is most important is to be a person people both look up to and respect. I want my children to be nice, kind people, so I'm going to be the person they want to be. And maybe some afternoon, we'll cut our tea party short, go outside and skip. Or perhaps instead, we'll just bake some cookies to go with our tea. How lovely.